Coffee Journey 澳洲咖啡之旅: Coffee Companion

Since moving here, I have hardly had any intensive cases to handle in my workplace. Today became an exception. I could tell the heart-broken feelings of the lady sitting in front of me…. (Sigh)

Perhaps relationship is just like coffee. Even though you have the best equipment, espresso machine, beans even from the Cup of Excellence (COE) and milk, you can’t guarantee to make a perfect cup. It takes time to adjust to the optimal aspect of everything.

It’s unrealistic that we can find a perfect person in the world. We all have imperfections in various aspects. But the most important above all are perhaps the very basic elements: respects, appreciation, focusing on the positive things s/he has done rather than picking up those things making you unhappy.

To the lady I saw today,

I wouldn’t say either side is totally wrong for this is a relationship in which both parts shall be liable for any unhappy moments. It’s more crucial for you to learn to accept, tolerate, respect, forgive and love. It’s a test and training of your conflict resolution rather than fault-finding skills. These, unfortunately, might be a lifelong thing if you want to make the relationship last. There’s always no free lunch and shortcut!!

But preparing for the worst, if he’s not ready and/or motivated to mend the relationship, don’t feel bad or shameful. There’s nothing wrong or disgraceful to be a single parent. Move on… and find somebody who accepts you totally, including your past and your child. Single-parenthood just means that you are a responsible and mature person. (You couldn’t imagine how many past cases I handled in which the parents were irresponsible and the children showed complex developmental difficulties and emotional problems!!)

If not?! Then be a happy single!! After all, I always believe that it’s more essential for us to have health and family members. Sometimes, finding a good partner might just be a bonus.

Just like tasting coffee, it’s really hard to taste the sweetness of the after-taste without the stages of experiencing the bitterness. It’s hard but not impossible to find a good coffee ‘companion’ with you. Identify him by the way he behaves, not only the words he speaks…. or observe if he’s a person ready to speak ‘Thank you’, ‘Sorry’, ‘I love you’, ‘I appreciate you…’ etc.

With all my warmest and most sincere blessings and support. No matter what, there will always be sunny days after rainy ones.